Fifty Shades of... Hot Sauce??

If you enjoy hot sauce and are one of the millions of readers out there who couldn't get enough of Fifty Shades of Gray -- or if you know someone who meets that description -- this announcement is for you:

The Carolina Sauce Company is now your source for Fifty Shades of Red Hot Sauce, inspired by the blockbuster novel!

It was only a matter of time before some enterprising hot sauce manufacturer would capitalize on the "50 Shades" craze along with the popular belief that hot peppers can inflame the passions. And when we discovered that someone had indeed done so, we jumped on the bandwagon and added these new hot sauces to our online store.

Fifty Shades of Red Cayenne Pepper Hot Sauce is a passionately irresistible combination of peppery pleasure and pain. Its suggestive label and the sauce's blood-red color will get your heart beating faster while your mouth waters in anticipation of that first taste. Direct and to the point, Fifty Shades of Red is not shy about giving you what you want when you're craving real cayenne pepper flavor and fire. Use it every day -- heck, indulge in it several times a day! -- whether in the kitchen, on the table, at the stove, in the dining room, even outside when the neighbors are watching (i.e., when grilling or dining on your deck). And don't worry if you're a hot sauce virgin or relatively new to chili adventures: This hot sauce will show you the ropes without hurting you (too much). Whether your idea of foreplay begins with a gourmet dinner served on china under candlelight, or centers around delivery pizza (and the delivery boy/girl?) and a six-pack in front of the TV, this all-natural hot sauce is up for any occasion.

Are you experienced? I'm talking about super-hot sauces that dare to go where few will venture. If you answered yes, then you're ready to graduate to Fifty Shades Hotter Habanero Hot Sauce. With every bite or lick, intense and unrelenting flames will lash at your tongue, sending shockwaves rippling through you until your eyes well up with tears, your body trembles, and you're left gasping for mercy yet unable to stop begging for more. Yes, it will dominate you, as the label brashly proclaims. And you need to sign a liability waiver before you can get your hands on this dangerous hot sauce. There's nothing fake or phony about it, either: No added capsaicin extract -- to me that's the equivalent of Viagra for hot sauces that otherwise fall short -- and there are no artificial ingredients. This one's the real deal: Uninhibited, unadulterated, unbridled habanero firepower that's not for the timid or uninitiated.

Intrigued? Titillated? Or simply rolling your eyes at my sorry attempt at writing hot sauce "soft porn?" Fine, I'll cut to the chase: Buy Fifty Shades hot sauces online from the Carolina Sauces online store, while they're on sale.

Zestfully yours,
Gloria