Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Super-Strong Coffee, for Mature Audiences Only

Wake the Fuck Up coffee
There is nothing subtle or nuanced about Wake the F*%$ Up Coffee.

From its brash name to its robust flavor and jolting caffeine kick, everything about this super-strong coffee is in your face.

If you're looking for a sophisticated, elegant morning beverage that politely beckons you to welcome the new day, this ain't it. You can stop reading now and move on to a more refined blog while you sip your overpriced, precocious cappuccino, dignified latte or hipster triple-espresso.

If, however, you need something that will punch you into overdrive soon after your few hours of sleep were rudely ended by that d*&#ed alarm clock, this coffee will not let you down.

The surprising thing is, despite the over-the-top and not exactly "family friendly" name, Wake the F*** Up Coffee is actually quite drinkable and enjoyable -- unless you're one of those insufferable coffee snobs with no sense of humor, who insists that every cup must deliver complex, multidimensional flavor notes hinting of potting soil or burned scrap lumber or sweat-stained leather jacket or whatever.

If all you need or want is a powerfully strong yet easy-drinking, full-flavored cuppa joe, the original Wake the F--- Up Extra Strong Coffee is for you. It's made from a special blend of beans from Costa Rica and Brazil, including some espresso beans, all artisan-roasted and ground in New Orleans. I'm partial to flavored coffees, however, and there are several tasty ones to choose from, including Chocolate Macadamia Nut Coffee, Hazelnut Coffee (my favorite), Butter Toffee Coffee, Tiramisu Coffee (also excellent) and the ever-popular Vanilla Coffee. Like the original, the flavored varieties are made with the same special blend of coffees and deliver the same wallop of caffeine to wake you up rapidly and keep you alert.

Wake the F--- Up Tiramisu Flavored CoffeeAll of these extra-strong coffees are sold ground -- who has time for whole beans when rushing around in the mornings or working late on a time-sensitive project?? -- and come packaged in 1-lb bags (when's the last time you saw one of those in the grocery store, at an affordable price??). All varieties of Wake the F*&% Up! Coffee are currently on sale at the Carolina Sauces online store, where you can find them in our "Mature Label" category of products because of the name of the coffee.

And in case you were wondering, the name on the coffee package DOES use the F-word. If you're offended by that, please don't click on the links or images in this post because they go directly to the product pages for these coffees.

Zestfully yours,

PS:  Seriously, though, if you are either offended or delighted that we now carry this brand of coffee, or if you have an opinion on "Mature Label" products in general, PLEASE let us know. We want and need your feedback so that we can make sure that we're carrying the products our customers want to buy. Please do leave a comment below if you have an opinion on this matter, or email me if you prefer to contact me privately. Thanks!

No comments:

Post a Comment